Obituary

It is sad to observe the death of “common decency”, “decorum” and “respect” at the beautiful campus of American College. For close to four years these important virtues of human life were laying in COMA at the corridors of American college and this morning with the announcement of the new appointment of one Dr. Christober Thavamani as the new principle of American college, the remaining bit of "public decency" which existed in the name of “respect” was completely extinguished.

American College, a multi-religious education fraternity, was born in the year 1890. Its parents were noble minded missionaries and unbiased Christian elders who thought “Education” belonged to all the religious sects. In its young days, the American college attracted a number of multi-religious students and produced sons of the soil with aplomb who, till date, hold various prestigious positions throughout the globe.

The first symptom of sickness was witnessed during the early 80s when a common sickness called “caste” attacked this noble institution. This sickness is much deadlier than cancer. Though contingency measures were taken to keep the sickness under control, the cancer started spreading and divided the different parts (faculty members) of the institution. In the mid naught’s (mid 2000s) another severe bout of sickness attacked the institution which was identified as “religious nepotism”. The main culprit who brought this deadly disease to the institution was a deadly parasite called “Asir” who is known to have perpetuated the same disease wherever he had his hand. This parasite lives in a swamp called CSI Madurai diocese and breads a number of other spineless parasites who are otherwise called as cassock clad pastors. This parasite has grown more deadly over the years with illegal acquisition of dubious money and dubious power using religion as a means. Though this parasite is very old and within a few months will bite the dust, atleast its vigour, it is determined to do the maximum damage during its tenure.

This parasite had an equally vicious ally and relative called Christober who had imbedded into the college affairs by mistake. These two parasites started by infecting gullible parts of the body (faculty) by offering large cash rewards and positions in leiue of ‘self respect”.  The first victim of this infection was a fat-bellied organ called george selvakumar.  After dividing the body parts, it was easy for these parasites to tempt others. Mohan became the next.

Resident doctors, especially  Chinnraj and Anbudurai and a number of duty doctors (all faculty members who opposed Asir), many retired doctors and visiting doctors and a couple of noble minded expatriate doctors tried to cure this disease through routine medical aid of court cases. At one point the disease was controlled and started stablising and as everyone was hoping to see the good days of the college and a stable body, the resident doctors blinked their eyes for rest when the parasites attacked viciously and attacked the body with vigiour. This attack crippled the body severely as rowdism, money and caste were used liberaly to unsettle the other parts of the body. Since then the college was lying in a perpetual state of COMA, until this morning the parasite himself announced the appointment of his own son-in-law.

Today this institution leaves behind close to 5000 current students and millions of alumni who are orphaned without a place to go by. Some of the well-wishers are still trying to see if any life can be inhaled into the body of American college. There is one important drug (a strong decisive order in favour of Anbudurai)  which is rumored to be owned by the tamilnadu chief minister might be able to infuse some life if administered, but with the drug being so rare to be used and the chief-minister is busy fighting her own demons the friends and relatives of this college are helplessly stranded.

--- broomboy---